Interview

Thank you for joining us today, Robby, tell us a little bit about yourself.

"Thanks for having me, Chuck. I must say it’s a real honor to be on your show, and I couldn’t be happier right now. As you know, I’m Robby, and I play in the upcoming zombie apocalypse movie. My role is the hero, and I manage to befriend a zombie."

Tell us a little bit more about this zombie friend.

"Well Chuck, he’s a great guy. I don’t think I’ve ever worked with anyone better. He doesn’t talk much, he’s not a fast walker, and every so often he kind of makes these gurgling noises. At first I was a little weirded out by him, but then I grew to like him."

Wait, you mean as his role in the movie, right?

"No, I mean on set with him. It’s like having a dog play a dog in a dog movie, but this is a zombie playing a zombie in a zombie movie. The only difference between him and a dog is that he has a slight craving for brains for reasons unknown to me."

Well, Rob, aren’t zombies supposed to eat brains?

"Beats me, but I love the guy. His face is kind of an ashy grey, he’s got a hole in one cheek and he’s missing his tongue. His eyes are a hollow blue color, his hair is half rotted off, and one of his ears are missing. They say not to judge a book by its cover, and while he’s one of the ugliest people I’ve ever seen, I have to say he’s the perfect fit for that saying. If you didn’t have plans on seeing Zombie this Halloween, you’d better make plans now, because this movie is going to scare you so bad you’ll pee your pants in the theater. Thanks for having me, Chuck."

But- Wait, we’re not done- That was Robby, the actor who plays the hero in the upcoming movie Zombie everyone. Round of applause… I swear he was talking like Matt was a real zombie. Could someone look into that for me? I swear Matt’s not a real zombie.